Break of sorts

Well there everyone this is a hard post to write and I am not going to elaborate too much.
I am taking a small break from blogger and will be doing some self soothing.
After numerous attempts to avoid the fact i am having some personal difficulties with life in general ...... i have been forced to take a step back and learn to how smell the roses and breathe the fresh air again.

I am writing this post not as a an attention seeking endeavour but more of a self expression.
I am dealing with some anxiety issues and ended up in hospital yesterday with a nervous breakdown ( IE panic attacks and uncontrollable shaking and crying) this occurred during arts and crafts with my son. I started feeling funny and dizzy and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest.
I fainted hit my head and was home alone with two children.
After being in hospital and causing panic and dismay I figure it is time to go on my anti anxiety meds and get my life straiting out.
as of now I am waiting on my mother to come and be with me while I take my recommended ativan which knocks me out.
so there you have it.
This is a post here to remind me that i have hit this low point in my life and need to ask of r help and accept it as it comes.
I will be Okay and i will come out on top for all of those who have really helped me over the course of the last few days thank you..... i will write more when feeling g better.
thank you for the online support and understanding the fact I wrote this for my self as a reminder and a wake up call.
I will be okay....please do not judge this post as anything else but a self healer entry.
Thank you and lots of love to all
Mama j

ahh man hood

Well last evening Little G could not sleep .. he had had a extensive nap ( very out of the ordinary for him) that afternoon and was still excitable from a tiresome night of skating, he asked if he could sit with me while I folded Landry and watched GREY's.
I said "you can but we are sitting quietly and after Mommy's show it's back to your room."
Response " OK mom I really missed you"
Kiss on the head
Grey's came on and as I zoned into TV land My son sat quietly rearranging pile of Landry closest to him. That became very boring for him soon enough. He found my fitness mags and started flipping through them narrating as he went.
I paid little attention as it was a long day and I was just trying to have my down time wacthing my favorite show( other than lost)
As a commercial flipped n I tuned back in to my world and hear my son sing singing over a page.
" boobies and bully buttons on the beach... boobies in pink and yellow. Just belly buttons................... but lots of boobies"
Shape has a segment of best beach Bodies .. and he was very interested in the belly buttons and boobies on display! tee hee.. how cute and true could he be.
Testosterone all around.