2 becomes one

wasn't that a spice girl song??
I am back I am back I actually have a few blogs going now but this one is in regards to family and life in general.. the other is about a side of me I am not reay to share with everyone yet!! but here I am .. and I stand tall!!
Jennifer

Break of sorts

Well there everyone this is a hard post to write and I am not going to elaborate too much.
I am taking a small break from blogger and will be doing some self soothing.
After numerous attempts to avoid the fact i am having some personal difficulties with life in general ...... i have been forced to take a step back and learn to how smell the roses and breathe the fresh air again.

I am writing this post not as a an attention seeking endeavour but more of a self expression.
I am dealing with some anxiety issues and ended up in hospital yesterday with a nervous breakdown ( IE panic attacks and uncontrollable shaking and crying) this occurred during arts and crafts with my son. I started feeling funny and dizzy and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest.
I fainted hit my head and was home alone with two children.
After being in hospital and causing panic and dismay I figure it is time to go on my anti anxiety meds and get my life straiting out.
as of now I am waiting on my mother to come and be with me while I take my recommended ativan which knocks me out.
so there you have it.
This is a post here to remind me that i have hit this low point in my life and need to ask of r help and accept it as it comes.
I will be Okay and i will come out on top for all of those who have really helped me over the course of the last few days thank you..... i will write more when feeling g better.
thank you for the online support and understanding the fact I wrote this for my self as a reminder and a wake up call.
I will be okay....please do not judge this post as anything else but a self healer entry.
Thank you and lots of love to all
Mama j

ahh man hood

Well last evening Little G could not sleep .. he had had a extensive nap ( very out of the ordinary for him) that afternoon and was still excitable from a tiresome night of skating, he asked if he could sit with me while I folded Landry and watched GREY's.
I said "you can but we are sitting quietly and after Mommy's show it's back to your room."
Response " OK mom I really missed you"
Kiss on the head
Grey's came on and as I zoned into TV land My son sat quietly rearranging pile of Landry closest to him. That became very boring for him soon enough. He found my fitness mags and started flipping through them narrating as he went.
I paid little attention as it was a long day and I was just trying to have my down time wacthing my favorite show( other than lost)
As a commercial flipped n I tuned back in to my world and hear my son sing singing over a page.
" boobies and bully buttons on the beach... boobies in pink and yellow. Just belly buttons................... but lots of boobies"
Shape has a segment of best beach Bodies .. and he was very interested in the belly buttons and boobies on display! tee hee.. how cute and true could he be.
Testosterone all around.

BIG "W"

Well everyone I went to the hospital with my little guy yesterday and we did the chest x ray.
It nearly broke my heart to hold him upright hands above his head and him unable to move.
He was better then me though and just fussed a bit.
They faxed his x ray immediately to the Dr and she called me to tell me that there wasn't much to worry about.
He was born with his lungs a little undeveloped and there fore he has been experiencing a bronchial condition since birth and eventually it should go away.
If he is wheezy we should take him outside.
So there you have it.
I feel relieved and a bit saddened for him.... poor thing.
Apparently this is normal. so my nerves are calmed.. but it still bothers me when he sounds wheezy. that's being a mom hey.
So I hope everyone finds this message thanks you for all of your kind words and warm wishes they were felt.
It was a stressful time for me this weekend, but we are on to bigger things like the fact that W is teething already .. and he smiles all of the time.
He weighs in at 13 pounds and 23 inches and I am so proud he is a strapping little baby.
Ta ta for now!!!!!
Love you all!

The boys

Well as a mom I have to say My little W has been a breeze. No worries no wonders just curtness and contentedness.

He went for his needles today and now I find out he is in need of some lung exams. He is having some difficulty with his air ways and as I write this I AM in shock,

no emotion shock

He is 2 months. so Innocent and care free so happy and he is struggling to breathe.

I am in shock.

the Dr assured me it was more precaution then anything but.. still......he is so young.

I am hoping for the best and I am sure it is NOTHING... But I am a mom and this is my 2 month old angel.

To cheer my self up and this post I am including some of Little G skating with his poppy. I tear up every time we go as it brings the gentleness out in my dad and admiration out in my son.

The love can you feel it.

Will post with good news soon.

Love Mama

Movie

I am writign a little note here to say that you NEED to go and watch
"Children of Men"
It's in theaters now.
Amazing movie and very edge of your seat.
makes you think about the future .
Also stressful for those of you that have children.. but so worth the stress.

I hope you all enjoy as i did
Go now or this weekend.. but just go!
Mama J

Ladies

I have been long wondering about the differences between Men and women and the differences never ever seem to change. not really even tweak.\Perhaps they get masked but for the most they stay the same.

Men can be very unemotional . distant even.
Women over emotional and nurturing.
Heard a quote today and it seemed to fit perfectly.
Women don't just want and answer( from a man) they want participation.
---- felicity huffman.

Seriously .. conversation, elaboration, involvement.. not just "yes honey"
or " sounds good"

More like " I liked what you had to say.." or even respond with a conversation.. opened ended questions.
" sounds good" well why does it sound good what exactly sounded good about that!!! sshheeesh
Well I love my hubby and all the men in my life.. but conversationalists they aren't always..... maybe I just need more girlfriends in my life.. or at least talk to them more.. estrogen pahh lease!